English jokes 001 JOKES, ANECDOTES AND STORIES #001

Уровень сложности: pre-intermediate, intermediate
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Текст аудиофайла English jokes 001

Toilet time

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go tothe bathroom?

Teacher: Not “can”, but “may”.

MAY I go to the bathroom?

Little Johnny: But I asked first!

Fish talk

Two goldfish in a bowl talking:

Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?

Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?

Pool power

The CEO (Chief Executive Officer) of amultinational corporation once threw a party in his lavish house. As he showed his workcolleagues around the beautiful mansion, they looked in disbelief at all his possessions.Eventually, they came to the garden. There,in the garden was the biggest swimmingpool they’d ever seen. But the pool was fullof alligators! “Why do you have alligators inyour pool?” asked one of hisemployees. “Well, I was thinkingthat one day I’d like to test yourbravery,” said the CEO. “If anyoneis brave enough to swim acrossthat pool, with all those animalsin it, I’ll give them anything theywant. It was bravery that gotme everything I have today and I’ll give it allup if anyone does this and survives!” Of courseno one is crazy enough to take up his offer and they continue the tour. But a few minuteslater, they hear a splash and turn around. The Chief Financial Officer is in the pool, swimmingdesperately! Luckily he gets to the other sideand gets out, panting. The CEO says, “That wasamazing. Tell mewhat you want.” “OK” says the CFO, “I want… the nameof the person whopushed me in thepool!”

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